Every morning I attend a support group at a non-profit club. Today was a big day with a new twist. There was a new person attending the meeting who is an addict straight out of rehab. He is suffering just like I did for two months. I recognized his look, his shakes and tremors and the look of hopelessness in his eyes.
I was able to speak to him after the meeting and let him know that he was not alone and that he will begin to feel better in about sixty days.
Recovery work is a three prong approach: physical, mental, and spiritual. The first and most desperate need is for physical reprieve. Battling withdrawals is the single hardest item that an addict must conquer. Time is the only answer. Not other pills or drugs but time. Time heals and as time passes for the new addict the body eases into a place of less nerve endings and receptors on fire from the lack of chemical dependence. There is no quick, fast, or painless road through this process. As an addict with almost five months of sobriety, I could not do again what I did by the Grace of my Higher Power to get here. I would die for sure, and I am not exaggerating. A 16 day phenobarbital taper off of Xanax and Adder all after twelve years of use was no joke and the storage of toxins in my muscles was long lasting.
Ending up on a cardiac floor near death and unsure if I was going to make it was something I will NEVER forget or do again. My withdrawals after the discharge from the hospital were horrid and I suffered terribly and wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I am so grateful I went through it though, and by the grace of my higher power came out the other the side, after two months of bone searing withdrawals. Now instead of being in survival I am in recovery and my life is the best it has ever been.
I still struggle with anorexia but I am working hard on that as I don't want to traverse that path again.
I am here for anyone struggling or thinking about reaching out for help. I will write once again about the greatest of the drugs when I took them but felt this post was long overdue.
"Every afternoon from 12:00pm to 5:00pm I wailed in agony and cried to my family and friends that my body was breaking and I was breaking. After two months of this torture I entered the mental phase of my recovery.
Here I learnt I could and would make it through the day without any sort of drug or mind-altering chemical. It was not easy and my legs were shaky with lack of confidence for a brave new world I didn't know without drugs.
Lastly came the spiritual piece of my recovery. Here I learnt a power greater than I was my only answer, along with good doctors and an excellent care team. As I mentioned I am less than five months into my sobriety and only beginning to scratch the surface of my peace and my hopeful impending serenity.
I would be untruthful to say this still doesn't hurt-it hurts a lot; everyday.
However, hope is the greatest medicine of all time and with that today I am ready to face a new day and step forward another day deeper in my recovery."
Corey
BORN THIS WAY-2K17
