It is January 6th, 2K18 and the weather is 2 degrees below zero. My new body and mind in recovery is not acclimated to this type of severe weather.
I have lived through my own deep freeze with pharmaceutical detox from opioids, Xanax and Adderall all in the span of six weeks. That was almost ten months ago, and my new nerve endings are slightly reactive to all types of intense stimuli.
I am amazed with each passing day what a badass I am in recovery. I made up my mind and jumped into detox with both feet, repeating the mantra, "Go big or go home." I was deliriously unaware of what the fuck I was putting my body and mind through at the time. After giving up opioids cold turkey, putting myself through living hell in the process, I voluntarily went into the hospital to come off Xanax and Adderall without knowing the damage I would do physically to my body. The physical disabilities I did to my body have been unlike anything I could have imagined, costing me my self-esteem, my bodily functions, as well as cognitively impairing me beyond recognition to myself and to others.
My journey to well over these last ten months has been slow but miraculously steady. I started from such a scary unwell place, that today my recovery is nothing short of fucking amazing with each passing day. I am not the person I was before, but I am clean, without drugs, and my decimated, fragile body is responding to life without pharmaceuticals with a profound resilience I never thought possible.
These frigid winter months are hard however, each day of my recovery brings new bits of wellness I had long since given up on.
I have never longed for the drugs I once ingested, but the grief and loss of my old self I have experienced is not something I was prepared to face. I am a new version of me: clean, clear-headed, filled with some fear about my physical recovery, but square on the money with my overall recovery.
I have learned there are little to no resources available to someone going through prescription drug detox. I play with the very real idea of providing help to others mired in the depths of prescription drug addiction. I have had solid recovery which I have had to support with my own philosophies and program, not found anywhere in any big book, or recovery program. It has been a lonely and at times frightening experience, but at ten months of solid recovery I now have a toolbox and straightforward ideas on how to augment this type of recovery for others that are sick and suffering.
I marveled at this New Year with my resolutions, recognizing that at the beginning of 2K17 I could never have had the resolution to get clean from pharmaceuticals. It was way too far out of my realm of possibilities but nonetheless I did it anyway. I ended 2K17 with a feeling of badassery coupled with the new opportunities 2K18 brings to me with my new found sobriety. Life simply is now crazy assed amazing and I look forward to each new day of this new year with hope, anticipation, and renewal of wellness both cerebrally and physically.
If you are suffering from prescription addiction, and realize you want to end this pain, I have tried solutions for you so that your journey to recovery is not as painful as mine was. Nobody should ever have to go through the pain and suffering I endured.
I will be rolling out a bright shiny website with help for prescription addicts in 2K18. I can not give the name away yet, but soon I will be up and running and will provide the website and tools as well as my personal services to facilitate your or a loved one's recovery. Continued pain and suffering is no longer necessary and most of all I want you to know you are not alone.
Corey
BORN THIS WAY-2K18
